It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's...Cat Woman?

Cat Woman is on the prowl. A serial stickup artist with a penchant for disguises -- including a cat mask -- has sunk her claws into shoe and beauty stores in Manhattan and Queens, The Post has learned. The last two hits by the sleek, amber-eyed thief took place last week -- targeting the high-end Arche shoe store on Astor Place in the East Village on Thursday and The Body Shop in Forest Hills, Queens, the next day. In the strike at Arche, which was caught on video, the slick thief donned a cat mask, the source said. According to the source, the lithe 5-foot-6, 115 pound thief, described in a wanted poster as possibly Middle Eastern, strode into the store at around 1:30 p.m. She prowled for about 45 minutes before donning her disguise and pouncing on a sales clerk.

Hahahaha. I have no words for how ridiculous this story is. So I leave you with something even better. All I could think of when I was reading this was the scene from Superbad when the two cops were interrogating the liquor store clerk when she got robbed. I have a goddamn vetnary exam tomorrow!



Mindy: Look, kay? He assaulted the customer, grabbed the cash and ran out.
Officer Slater: So, how how, how...
Officer Michaels: Say when, height wise...
Officer Slater: I'm gonna start up here.
Officer Michaels: I'm gonna start from the buttom...
Mindy: Whatever 5'10 is, he was 5'10.
Officer Slater: E-ethnicly, I mean, did, what, uhhm. I mean, wa-was he, like u-us or...
Mindy: A woman? A female, is that what you're asking?
Officer Slater: No, I would say...
Officer Michaels: Was he...
Officer Slater: Was he African?
Mindy: Was he African? No, he was American. And he was like you. He looked just like you.
Officer Michaels: He was Jewish! An odd crime for a Jew to commit. Ok, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie...
Mindy: No. You don't. No, that's not what I said. Is that what you heard me say? I said he looked like you. Do you look like an African Jew?
Officer Michaels: No, I look like a cop.
Mindy: He was caucasian.
Officer Michaels: Caucasian...
Officer Slater: Oh...
Mindy: Kinda looked like Eminem.
Officer Michaels: Ah, an M&M...
Officer Slater: M&M, so he was like circular...
Mindy: Marshall Mathers. Eminem, the rapper, Eminem.
Officer Michaels: He looked like this? I'm a amateur.
Officer Slater: 'Cause that kinda looks like an M&M.
Officer Michaels: Longer face? Bigger nose? Would you say his mouth was wider? Open? A gap?